The Coffee Table
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Where to watch: Not on major US streamers — check digital rental.
How it scared people
The vibe
Jesús wins one argument with his wife — he gets to buy the tacky glass coffee table, guaranteed unbreakable by a very persuasive salesman. What follows is ninety minutes of dramatic irony tightened like a garrotte, with almost none of the horror on screen. Stephen King is a public fan. Do not watch this with new parents.
The Coffee Table (2022) Parents Guide
| MPA rating | No MPAA certificate (released outside the US system) |
|---|---|
| Runtime | 89 minutes |
| Jump scares | 2/5 — on the gentler side — it favors mood and atmosphere over hard scares |
| Gore | 2/5 — only light gore |
| Dread | 5/5 — the kind of film that follows you around for days |
| Themes | psychological distress; death and grief, often within a family; characters cut off from help |
The Coffee Table carries no MPAA certificate. We score it 2/5 for jump scares, 2/5 for gore and 5/5 for lingering dread, over 89 minutes. Very little blood — the hard part here is atmosphere and aftermath, not graphic content. Older teens and adults — less for what it shows than for how long it stays with you.
We rate what the film does — scares, gore, dread — not scene-level content like language or nudity, which we don't track.
Before you press play
- How scary is The Coffee Table?
- On our intensity scale, The Coffee Table rates 4/10 for jump scares and 10/10 for dread. It is on the gentler side — it favors mood and atmosphere over hard scares. Expect little in the way of jump scares, but a sense of dread that builds steadily and lingers after the credits.
- How gory is The Coffee Table?
- The Coffee Table rates 4/10 for gore — expect only light gore.
- How long is The Coffee Table?
- The Coffee Table runs 89 minutes (1h 29m).
- What is The Coffee Table rated?
- The Coffee Table has no MPAA certificate — common for films released outside the US. On our scale it rates 4/10 for jump scares, 4/10 for gore and 10/10 for dread.
- Where to watch The Coffee Table (2022)?
- The Coffee Table is not on major US subscription streamers right now — look for it on digital rental or purchase (Apple TV, Prime Video, or your usual store).
